Week 7: Every time I get a chance to..

16 Jan

It is a selfish way to think. Yeah, I know. What is good for others is good for me also. It`s called “the common good”. The brits have it their own way – “Commonwealth”. I`m happy in a egotistical way when someone close to me, a friend or a neighbour is satisfied and pleased with himself/herself. What goes around comes around. Good or Bad Karma. May you name it as you see fit. You know, I`m one selfish and arrogant bastard. So so true. My generosity comes from the need to please the group, and when the group is full of  their own  satisfaction, I`m happy as a pup.

One of my complete personal victories  is when my family/group/circle of friends just relax and talk about “intellectual” subjects. I don`t consider myself an “intellectual”. Primum vivere, deinde philosofare! When people talk about stuff related to art, literature and even… hhmph, science(well science is not all that hot a topic for me, but it works for some of the nerdy guys/gals around), I`m parted between my need to lay back and enjoy the show and my other need-the need to speak my mind. And of course I am truly happy `cause what better time to be a jolly good fellow(only in your imagination) then when you won. Something. A kitch-artsy thing. A carrot. A small squeaking mouse-like toy. A date. Better when you win someone. That subject another day.

For my twenty-years old big brain(small compared to someone like Tesla or John Nash) a small victory is when some girl gives me that “fuck-you look”(some may know it also as the “I wanna fuck you look”) even though I think this is normal for any healthy man. Male. Maybe I`m not interested. Maybe I don`t care. Or maybe I just conceal it. Anyway… that`s a small victory for humankind, and a slightly bigger victory for me. Trying to deserve something I don`t have is stressful. Read between the lines.

Creation. Oh yeah ! Even when I create a small universe within a phrase, only to make others  laugh or chill the f… out, I feel astonished. Creating words is much harder than it seems.  Speaking words that you just planned is difficult. You have to have a strategy. But the result is amazing! Everybody listens! Everybody listens to YOU! You are a god for 5 minutes and 2.5 seconds.  After that it`s back to normal. Improvisation is essential. You cannot improvise on a theme without the right tool. Our voice. Speaking in  a jibber-jabber bla bla blaish commonly style is sad. Everybody does it. You need your own, original, talented, improved voice! Now that`s a small(damn, a huge) victory!

Also I like apples.

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