Archive by Author

Week 1: Sin Inc.

21 Nov

(Note: this was written as a separate assignment, but I could not gather inspiration for something regarding this Monday’s theme; I decided to post this so that at least I have something for today 🙂 )

“Greed never was the most popular of the Seven Sins. He was actually considered even more annoying than Gluttony, who would constantly eat everything from the office fridge. Lust was usually found to be quite ravishing, especially since she refused to wear the proper formal attire, and opted instead for garments which could be described as leaving little to the imagination. Sloth just didn’t give a damn about anyone else, and the others would generally avoid him, but hey, you could always count on him in a poker game to always lose, due to lack of interest.

Wrath always came into the office smelling of gunpowder and death, but hey, at least it wasn’t the stench of angel dust, right? Envy and Pride were too busy fighting over which one was better to actually prove an annoyance to anyone else, but Greed just couldn’t help but exacerbate all those present.

He would occasionally steal not just office supplies, but also souls, from the other Sins; except Wrath’s. Nobody messed with Wrath and afterlived.”

“Then why do I have to be Greed?” I asked.

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A Knock at the Door

19 Nov

The Universe is funny. Hilarious in fact. And I know this very well. My entire race knows this very well. Actually, the basis of our very existence relies on knowing this fact.

Our great ancestors knew this so well, that they my people the Snortlax to match the sound we make when we laugh. However, as part of the Great Cosmic Joke, certain other races are widely different. Historically, peoples which have displayed a dreadful lack of a sense of humour (i.e. the Grogniggs, the Humans, or the Howlers) have often ended in bloody war. One other such example is the Flargh.

They tie in to why I am here. “Here” defined as the planet Cygnus V – a deserted little slice of watery hell. It is the only habitable planet in the Cygnus system and I am living in a wooden little shack on the only habitable island.

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Deadheritance

19 Nov

(Note: I missed two meets in a row, so I decided to combine the two themes: writing from the perspective of the opposite sex and writing a ghost story for Halloween.)

I guess we should get this out of the way as quickly as possible – I’m dead.

While this is definitely one of my primary traits, it is not my defining one, though. I am also a woman and a distinguished one at that, especially since I am- was the Lady Yorkchester. Admittedly, my family did not rise to our status through entirely… orthodox methods, but I at least tried to be close to the moral barometer. That’s why I’m not enduring the most horrible torment imaginable along the 9 circles of hell. Yet.

For you see, despite my good and charitable act of leaving a healthy inheritance for my sons, they have taken to squabbling among themselves for it, as if the document was not clear enough. Well, to be fair, it isn’t… Not unintentionally, mind you, for you see, when a soul has unfinished business on Earth, they must return as a poltergeist and conclude whatever it is that’s keeping them here. Let it not be said that I am not a cunning woman.

And that is precisely why I am in eldest son’s room. As to why I’m here at midnight, I’ve found that a haunting is much more effective when conducted after nightfall and while everyone is asleep. And while I know I mustn’t dawdle in finishing my business on Earth, I might as well have a little fun.

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